Challenging negative thoughts

If a negative thought is repeatedly arising for you, answer each of the following questions (it can be helpful to write your answers down in a piece of paper).

Be as real as possible when answering

  • Is there any real-world evidence for this thought (other than my imagination)?


  • What would I say to a friend who had this thought?


  • Am I basing this thought on facts or feelings?


  • Am I stuck on this thought because it is fuelled by fear? What would it look like if I fuelled it with trust and safety?


  • Is this thought the worst outcome? Can I think about neutral, or even positive outcomes?

The Gate Technique

If you are still struggling with a negative thought, it may be useful to also try the “gate technique”.

Think of a gate in your mind.

Before you give a thought any more energy, it has to answer ”yes” to each of these questions.

Only if it passes these 3 gates should you accept it and then see what you can do about it.

  • Is this thought true?


  • Is this thought helpful, or necessary?


  • Is this thought coming from a real place?


Bad thinking habits

Bad thinking habits are thought patterns that lead to negative feelings or behaviours. These often happen before, during or after a difficult situation.

See if any of these common habits seem familiar to you. If you can, try to notice when you are engaging in them. Remind yourself this is just a bad thinking habit, it is not reality.

All or nothing

Where you make things all or nothing, like they’re 100% good or 100% bad – “If it’s not perfect, I’ve completely failed”

Emotional reasoning

Where you assume that because you feel a certain way, that is actual reality – “I feel embarrassed, so I MUST be embarassing”

Catastrophising

Where you imagine the worst outcome and believe it is inevitable – “I’ll get bad marks, then I’ll fail & have to drop out.”

Personalising

Where you blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Or blame someone else for something that wasn’t their fault – “I know they did that, but it’s my fault” or “I know I did that, but it’s they’re fault”.

Mind reading

Where you think that you know exactly what other people are thinking – “I know that they think that I’m boring”.

Labelling

Where you put a “label” on things & always think of them that way; instead of seeing what the reality is – “This course is shit, there’s no way I’ll ever enjoy it”

Over generalising

Where you assume that something will always be the same, every single time – “I tried that once and it went bad, so every time I do that it will just be the same”

Disqualifying

Where you dismiss anything good that happens to you or anything good that you do – “I know I did that well, but it was a fluke. It doesn’t count”

Magnifying or Minimising

Where you blow something out of proportion or shrink it to make it less important – “I did that wrong, this is the worst thing ever” or “I did that right, but it’s not a big deal at all”

Should/ Must

Where you have a list of rules about how things SHOULD be, even if they’re unreasonable – “I SHOULD be better than what I am